Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
