a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
These tits shall not be calmed
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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