you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize