Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
