He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
