how can u be prego again
Ketchup is God's man juice
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
