My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
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