i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
