a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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