We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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