This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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