Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
