Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
