lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
