That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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