google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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