Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
