your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Can I color on your dick again?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We don't watch enough power rangers
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
