I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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