Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
