so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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