I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
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i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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