How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
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It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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