MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
