I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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