great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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