why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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