This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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