I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
