The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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