note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize