Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
