Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just high enough for therapy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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