Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
