Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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