You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
