come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize