Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
