How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
