Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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