Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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