chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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