I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Randomize
