ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He passed out mid-signature
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize