so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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