I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Randomize