I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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