either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
