got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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