There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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