I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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