HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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