Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
