Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
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Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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