then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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