he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
