Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
