....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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