Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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