The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
