remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
