My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
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