i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
